Just a random one~

been ages since i came and visit this blog of mine.. 

agendas that had happened.. yet so little to talk about.. 

• broke up with my ex-gf
• always struggling just to get through my degree
• a group of friends are graduating and leaving for a new chapter in life but im staying instead - happy for them and yet melancholy for myself
• was turned down twice after confessing
• 
  

events missed out.. but never felt like mentioning abt it..

• missed my god-sis wedding or rather was never told about it 
• noticed a void of 2 years in my university life for doing completely nothing 
• friends that i should have known a few years back were only talked to in the last few months
• missed my friends graduation day
• missed outing with my first ex's for 2 straight years or rather never had a chance
•  

feelings held inside.. yet never conveyed due to the fear of hurting another or myself.. 

• fell in love with someone that i find it hard to give my trust to
• left out from those i thought i was important to
• as though im just a use-and-throw item - only remembered whn help is needed
• neglected by those i deem close to me
• if im not around anymore, will there be any changes or will life just move on like it always do
• fucking low self-esteem
•  

things learned.. and always trying hard to apply in life..

• you have your life and they have theirs - mayb ur not as important to them as you think
• help for the sake of helping - dont mind even if they only call you in times of need
• forgive and forget - no matter how bad you feel, never let them feel it from you
• enjoy the little things even if its being alone - the simplest way to be happy
• words are only words - never fully trust anyone - and it meant ANYONE
• reduce the probability of trouble - means less headaches
•  

Stings in the heart....

i dont know whether im guessing right or wrong but either way.. to look at that makes me feel very uncomfortable, as though it is talking right at me.. its strange that something that simple could make such a big difference.. even though im giving my all but im still a person and limited.. if its true then im sorry due to distractions and matters that i need to do until unaware of being negligence.. if its not then ill still say sorry for my negligence..

Strayed away from desires

Never knew when i had ever strayed so far away from my desires.

Been especially selfish lately which apparently made me feel unhappy. Maybe its something that i had miss this pass few month or mayb i've been moving the other way ever since a "wall" went up. Felt like im reversing to watever i am previously. Unmotivated and emotionally down, which i never though i would be ever again.

Choices still needed to be made and there is no running away from it. Any chosen choice will result in pain in one side for sure. What is there that i can do? and that is definitely to be the real question mark to me.

Lastly, i think i have been concentrating on something i should not have done, which is trying to make myself important, to the point that i lost myself from what i really want which is to just to see you smiling happily is already more than enough. Know that i will always be around whenever u need me.

How am i going to fight to protect? Doing the right things or doing the things which truly matters to me? Goals need to be FIRM and pathway needs to be CLEARED in order not to stray anymore!!!

The things that truly matters to me. =)