Just a random one~

been ages since i came and visit this blog of mine.. 

agendas that had happened.. yet so little to talk about.. 

• broke up with my ex-gf
• always struggling just to get through my degree
• a group of friends are graduating and leaving for a new chapter in life but im staying instead - happy for them and yet melancholy for myself
• was turned down twice after confessing
• 
  

events missed out.. but never felt like mentioning abt it..

• missed my god-sis wedding or rather was never told about it 
• noticed a void of 2 years in my university life for doing completely nothing 
• friends that i should have known a few years back were only talked to in the last few months
• missed my friends graduation day
• missed outing with my first ex's for 2 straight years or rather never had a chance
•  

feelings held inside.. yet never conveyed due to the fear of hurting another or myself.. 

• fell in love with someone that i find it hard to give my trust to
• left out from those i thought i was important to
• as though im just a use-and-throw item - only remembered whn help is needed
• neglected by those i deem close to me
• if im not around anymore, will there be any changes or will life just move on like it always do
• fucking low self-esteem
•  

things learned.. and always trying hard to apply in life..

• you have your life and they have theirs - mayb ur not as important to them as you think
• help for the sake of helping - dont mind even if they only call you in times of need
• forgive and forget - no matter how bad you feel, never let them feel it from you
• enjoy the little things even if its being alone - the simplest way to be happy
• words are only words - never fully trust anyone - and it meant ANYONE
• reduce the probability of trouble - means less headaches
•  

Stings in the heart....

i dont know whether im guessing right or wrong but either way.. to look at that makes me feel very uncomfortable, as though it is talking right at me.. its strange that something that simple could make such a big difference.. even though im giving my all but im still a person and limited.. if its true then im sorry due to distractions and matters that i need to do until unaware of being negligence.. if its not then ill still say sorry for my negligence..

An unexpected turn of events

It all started when i met this 2 girls, T & L. they were friendly and also good in a way. as i were sitting at the back of the van quietly, they started chatting with each other and sharing their conversation with me, the quiet one. After the short trip in a van, we split up and went into the event hall. It was a great event where i joined my friends there. We sang and we understood the messages told to us. After the event, i managed to meet them outside the hall and decided to ask for their fb contacts. Its due to the fact that i am interested in one of the girl and to make things look better, i asked from the both of them. Then, i went back and added both of them on fb which they accepted in juz a few minutes. 


Days went by while i chat with T, who i was interested to get to know at first. Then i started asking her out so that i could know her better to decide if i wanted to actually tackle her but everytime i asked, she rejected me by giving excuses.


One day, T had dengue fever which actually shocked me. so i decided to visit her in the hospital and spent the whole evening beside her. There i met L once again and we, me, L and T had conversation with each other. With that i could observe juz how much of a friend they are, how close they were together. It is then where i started smsing with L also.


Not long after that, i found out that T was being chased by someone which made me felt reluctant to tackle her anymore cuz i never even wish to make it into a "triangle" as she was more attracted to the other guy and i had not even started to tackle T at all. In the meantime, me and L are getting closer everyday but i never had the intention to tackle her, so i decided that its fit to call her as my godsister.