Stings in the heart....

i dont know whether im guessing right or wrong but either way.. to look at that makes me feel very uncomfortable, as though it is talking right at me.. its strange that something that simple could make such a big difference.. even though im giving my all but im still a person and limited.. if its true then im sorry due to distractions and matters that i need to do until unaware of being negligence.. if its not then ill still say sorry for my negligence..

Strayed away from desires

Never knew when i had ever strayed so far away from my desires.

Been especially selfish lately which apparently made me feel unhappy. Maybe its something that i had miss this pass few month or mayb i've been moving the other way ever since a "wall" went up. Felt like im reversing to watever i am previously. Unmotivated and emotionally down, which i never though i would be ever again.

Choices still needed to be made and there is no running away from it. Any chosen choice will result in pain in one side for sure. What is there that i can do? and that is definitely to be the real question mark to me.

Lastly, i think i have been concentrating on something i should not have done, which is trying to make myself important, to the point that i lost myself from what i really want which is to just to see you smiling happily is already more than enough. Know that i will always be around whenever u need me.

How am i going to fight to protect? Doing the right things or doing the things which truly matters to me? Goals need to be FIRM and pathway needs to be CLEARED in order not to stray anymore!!!

The things that truly matters to me. =) 

An unexpected turn of events

It all started when i met this 2 girls, T & L. they were friendly and also good in a way. as i were sitting at the back of the van quietly, they started chatting with each other and sharing their conversation with me, the quiet one. After the short trip in a van, we split up and went into the event hall. It was a great event where i joined my friends there. We sang and we understood the messages told to us. After the event, i managed to meet them outside the hall and decided to ask for their fb contacts. Its due to the fact that i am interested in one of the girl and to make things look better, i asked from the both of them. Then, i went back and added both of them on fb which they accepted in juz a few minutes. 


Days went by while i chat with T, who i was interested to get to know at first. Then i started asking her out so that i could know her better to decide if i wanted to actually tackle her but everytime i asked, she rejected me by giving excuses.


One day, T had dengue fever which actually shocked me. so i decided to visit her in the hospital and spent the whole evening beside her. There i met L once again and we, me, L and T had conversation with each other. With that i could observe juz how much of a friend they are, how close they were together. It is then where i started smsing with L also.


Not long after that, i found out that T was being chased by someone which made me felt reluctant to tackle her anymore cuz i never even wish to make it into a "triangle" as she was more attracted to the other guy and i had not even started to tackle T at all. In the meantime, me and L are getting closer everyday but i never had the intention to tackle her, so i decided that its fit to call her as my godsister.

It was just a dream~*

Had a really wierd dream and thought that I should share it out. A 'feng shui' master came to my room early in the morning when I was sleeping and SHE tried to wake me up. Even that, i stayed half asleep. Giving up, she just said about the 'feng shui' in my room where the main door should be blocked and never opened. The only entrance that can be used will be the toilet door where I need to pass my sister's room and the toilet to get to my room. She also feels that my room have the feeling of "yang ren" or "shen de pu ren" in it and then she left my room using the toilet door. Then suddenly my mom came into my room using the door of my room and told me that she was told by the feng shui master everything and scolded me for half-hearing as I was still lying on my bed with my eyes closed saying tat its expensive to bring the master here. So I asked my mom "why do u still use the main door when the master said its bad for the 'feng shui' to open the room door" and *poof!!* I woke up hearing my mom banging the door of my room asking me questions which i don't think I remember at 
all><!! LOL!!


p.s : fighting for exam!!! @.@"

Work$~~

Started working in a cafe despite the fact that final is on monday. Been staying there for almost the whole day for 4 days already.

from 10 a.m up until 12 a.m

y? cuz i love the enviroment there. 

and i am able to study while working~^.^

felt lucky to know a place lik this.

its in this cafe is where i learn some other things too~

and most of all, to personally look at a person's life who have a very strong faith in whatever that she does which really moved me. a something that not much people have. to venture into the unknown and with a very strong faith the GOD will be with her in every step of her way and never worries too much about it. sometimes, things really happen in miraculous ways where even we are not aware of. its like there is something far more greater than us which is working all around us. something rather special.

ps: praying tat i'll score my final exam ;D

Owl City - Vanilla Twilight

\^.^/A nice song that i truely loved\^.^/