Strayed away from desires

Never knew when i had ever strayed so far away from my desires.

Been especially selfish lately which apparently made me feel unhappy. Maybe its something that i had miss this pass few month or mayb i've been moving the other way ever since a "wall" went up. Felt like im reversing to watever i am previously. Unmotivated and emotionally down, which i never though i would be ever again.

Choices still needed to be made and there is no running away from it. Any chosen choice will result in pain in one side for sure. What is there that i can do? and that is definitely to be the real question mark to me.

Lastly, i think i have been concentrating on something i should not have done, which is trying to make myself important, to the point that i lost myself from what i really want which is to just to see you smiling happily is already more than enough. Know that i will always be around whenever u need me.

How am i going to fight to protect? Doing the right things or doing the things which truly matters to me? Goals need to be FIRM and pathway needs to be CLEARED in order not to stray anymore!!!

The things that truly matters to me. =) 

An unexpected turn of events

It all started when i met this 2 girls, T & L. they were friendly and also good in a way. as i were sitting at the back of the van quietly, they started chatting with each other and sharing their conversation with me, the quiet one. After the short trip in a van, we split up and went into the event hall. It was a great event where i joined my friends there. We sang and we understood the messages told to us. After the event, i managed to meet them outside the hall and decided to ask for their fb contacts. Its due to the fact that i am interested in one of the girl and to make things look better, i asked from the both of them. Then, i went back and added both of them on fb which they accepted in juz a few minutes. 


Days went by while i chat with T, who i was interested to get to know at first. Then i started asking her out so that i could know her better to decide if i wanted to actually tackle her but everytime i asked, she rejected me by giving excuses.


One day, T had dengue fever which actually shocked me. so i decided to visit her in the hospital and spent the whole evening beside her. There i met L once again and we, me, L and T had conversation with each other. With that i could observe juz how much of a friend they are, how close they were together. It is then where i started smsing with L also.


Not long after that, i found out that T was being chased by someone which made me felt reluctant to tackle her anymore cuz i never even wish to make it into a "triangle" as she was more attracted to the other guy and i had not even started to tackle T at all. In the meantime, me and L are getting closer everyday but i never had the intention to tackle her, so i decided that its fit to call her as my godsister.